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Stupidity is the 34th episode in Dan Vs.

PremiseEdit

Believing that everyone around him is becoming dumber, Dan blames the state education system and swears revenge on the Governor.

Plot SummaryEdit

The episode starts off with Dan getting cut off in a traffic jam. He calls Chris to complain about peoples' stupidity, Chris being in the middle of cooking bacon. Dan gets cut off several more times before going back to complaining, where Chris informs Dan that the concept of the passing lane is no longer taught due to it being too complicated. Dan pulls into his usual parking space, when he notices a billboard for Humongobots 6, which Dan describes as "another sequel to a reboot of a remake that was originally based on a toy that, by the way, was based on another toy!" Chris hangs up with the excuse that there's a show on television he can't miss. Crunchy enters enthusiastic about Humongobots 6, calling it "krinkled", and following up with incomprehensible slang talk. Suddenly, a young man rams his bicycle into the back of Dan's car, somehow crushing half of it as if it were a tin can. The young man explains that he was texting while on his bicycle. Dan performs his usual skyward scream, prompting the episode title card. "Stupidity" on the title card is at first spelt "stoopeedity," then corrected to "stupayditee," and then to "stu@pidada3," at which point it is corrected to "stupidity" via spell check.

Chris and Elise are watching television when Dan enters, telling Chris to "turn off the idiot box". Chris lampshades how Dan never properly greets him. Dan notices a man eating a bucket of mayonnaise on the television, prompting Chris to explain that they're watching a competitive eating contest, the Gullet Bowl. Dan is shocked to see Elise watching it, too, causing Elise to explain that Chris is going to compete in the contest that year, despite her not wanting him to. Dan explains then that "every aspect of our society is serving to make us dumber," citing such proof as spell check, the Internet, and television shows quoting older television shows. The contest is suddenly interrupted by breaking news, from the governor of California. The governor explains that, due to budget cuts, he is downsizing the school year to three months, and replacing text books with the Internet. One of the reporters present asks if it's a good idea, prompting the governor to ask if the reporter wants higher taxes. The reporter attempts to explain his perspective, when the governor states that he just "lets the teachers teach, because unlike [the reporter], I believe in America." The reporter responds that he believes in America, too, only to get cut off by the governor ending the interview. Dan convinces Chris to come with him to talk to the governor. During a stop at Burgerphile, Dan finds more things to complain about, prompting Chris to yell at him for complaining about things he can't change, calling Dan a troll. Chris apologizes, explaining that he's under a lot of pressure due to the contest, revealing that he's only in it because he wants to prove he's worthy of Elise by excelling at something. Dan and Chris enter the Government Action Center In Action, where Dan demands to see the governor. However, the intern at the front desk (the bicyclist from earlier) seems incapable of understanding him, spouting more slang talk. Dan concludes that physical violence is their only recourse, and gets in the intern's face, demanding to see the governor. The governor appears behind Dan, and at first seems happy to help. However, when Dan demands immediate and comprehensive action, he and Chris get thrown out.

Chris reveals that he doesn't understand what Dan's goal is. Dan explains that he's hoping to stop the downward spiral of stupidity. Chris reveals that the governor will be eating at a local diner later that day. In the next scene, Dan and Chris are arguing again about Chris's entering the Gullet Bowl. The governor arrives, and Dan confronts him about the growing stupidity, asking him a few questions. The governor claims that science is for nerds and hypocrites, citing that Pluto isn't a planet anymore, and asking how that will effect the economy. After hearing that the governor is a Humongobots fan, Dan realizes that the governor is part of the problem. The governor then wins over everyone present (excluding Dan) by chanting "USA!" Fade to Dan and Chris out on a sidewalk, with Dan questioning how that governor keeps getting reelected. Chris reveals that every time the governor's opponents point out that he's wrong about something, he accuses them of being elitist. Chris asks Dan where he got the briefcase he now has. Dan explains that he stole it from the governor. Later, Dan and Chris are about to bust the briefcase open when Elise stops them. Apparently, if it's broken into, it self-destructs, releasing a super-acid that disintegrates anything within a four-foot radius. Elise breaks it open with her computer while Dan times Chris eating a full plate of meat. When the case is opened, they find inside pages written in French, Russian, Spanish, German, Latvian, and Polish. Elise translates, revealing plans including introducing a phrase into popular culture, a driver's ed curriculum designed to teach people to change lanes without looking, and a marketing plan for Humongobots 6. Later, Dan and Chris break into the governor's office. Dan explains his plan to kidnap the governor and hit him with two-by-fours until he tells them what's going on. Suddenly, they hear someone coming, and seek refuge behind a curtain. The governor enters, and thinking he's alone, contacts someone called Jeffery, revealing in the process that America getting stupider was actually part of a larger plot.

The governor disappears through a trap door. Chris goes over the events so far, followed by Dan saying that "it's up to us now." Meanwhile, Elise is reporting to Eagle's Nest about what she found in the briefcase, only to be told not to get involved. Back at the governor's office, Dan and Chris manage to break through the trap door, leading to an immense underground facility. Inside, they overhear the governor stating that, sometime soon, they will have to pack up the operation and move it elsewhere. When asked how they'll know, he just says, "Oh, we'll know." Dan and Chris discover two massive doors labeled "DA BOMB", but inside find the AI that generates slang terms to be injected into popular culture. Meanwhile, Elise is told to report to the Government Action Center for Action immediately to meet with a field agent, and to not see Humongobots 6. Back at the underground facility, Dan and Chris are looking through a storeroom for weapons. Dan finds a fire ant farm, causing Dan to come up with a new plan, where they put fire ants down the governor's pants until he agrees to stop making them dumber. Chris then finds a portable mini-fryer. The two return to the governor's office to ambush him. Hearing the governor approaching, the seek cover. However, Chris had plugged in the portable fryer, and now it has caused his pants to catch on fire. Dan attempts to put it out with a fire extinguisher, only to get propelled into the governor's desk, causing the fire ants to land on him. Dan begins hitting himself with a two-by-four in an attempt to kill the fire ants. The governor enters, and upon seeing the insanity, calls one of his contacts to say that their work there is finished, and that they will move all stupidity operations to China. The governor then trips Chris into the foam Dan sprayed from the fire extinguisher, and directs Dan to the garden hose out back. The next scene shows Dan all wet, Chris on a stretcher with an ice pack on his butt, and the intern complaining that his months of undercover training were ruined in one day. The intern, Agent Bro-face, acknowledges Elise on his way out. One month later, Chris is ready to compete in the Gullet Bowl, where he reveals to Elise his reason for competing. Elise explains that she doesn't need him to compete just to prove he's worthy of her, only for Dan to jump in and tell Chris he has to win it for himself. Cut to Chris in the hospital, with Dan stating that "in retrospect, that may have been a mistake."