|Dan Vs. New Mexico|
|Season 1, Episode 1|
|Air date||January 1, 2010|
|Written by|| Chris Pearson|
|Directed by|| Chris Pearson|
Dan Vs. The Wolf-Man
Dan Vs. New Mexico is the first episode of Dan vs.
The episode starts as Dan wakes up from his loud alarm clock. Procceding to throw it away he is then hit a few times by his hanging light before getting out of bed and slipping on the burrito he planned to have for breakfast and ends up hitting his toe off a box. by his alarm and throws away his alarm clock. he sits up in his bed and hurts his head a couple of times. While he complain about his lights method of hanging Dan doesn't notice the curled up armadillo and falls down the apartment steps. After he spots the broken window in his car he puts things together (A cactus, a postcard) he assumes New Mexico is to blame and plots his revenge!After that, Chris tells Dan information about New Mexico. He then suggest that Dan checks the library. Dan wants him to come but Chris tries to refuse but its too late as his friend already hung up. Now at the library, Dan starts yelling at Chris, who is looking over a humming bird book. The two of the males begin to fight due to Chris' trying to make Dan quiet down and Dan not listening to the rules. Which gets the two of them both throw out. Now that they need a new plan, Dan suggest they go to a different library. But Chris thinks first they should get lunch. So of course they rush lunch and head to another library when Chris ask's Dan if he plans to behave this time.
Once more the guys begin on a rough patch as Dan tells Chris where the books are. But Chris tells him he wants to check with the librarian first, who may be able to help them find whatever it is Dan needs. Dan only does this after he is told its free and that you don't need to pay for help. So they go to the librarian, though Dan not totally convinced and tries to attack said person after he claims he's speaking codes. Dan specifies that he wants to hurt New Mexico and the Librarian tells him Personaly Vendetta's against a state are located in the, "Do it yourself" Section. Dan quickly notes this as Sarcasm when the Librarian says he will tell Dan the real location if they do something for him.After they listen to the librarian, he reveals that this guy in the Library has a new girlfriend: His Wife. While Chris wishes to not get involved, Dan only does this in order to get what he wants and agrees to do this for the short male. Chris agrees on the condition he won't have to kill anybody. This makes Dan very upset once more. Suddenly "Karma" steps in and a bus runs over the guy the librarians wife is cheating with. While Chris is in shock and thinks the guy needs help Dan just claims this is Karma's nature. Although Chris doesn't agree. Back inside now the librarian hands them a dusty old book titled, "New Mexico. A dark and Secret History." After he looks through the entire book Dan exclaims that seeing so any Devil tales proves New Mexico is evil. While Chris says this proves nothing. The librarian tries to tel lhim hoow he can "Hurt" New Mexico: Hot air Balloons. Dan fails to recognize this tip and the two of them exit the building while the guy who was hit by the bus is seen getting into the ambulance. Back at Dan's place, Dan is less then happy that Elise had to come with them and that he must sit in the back of the car. Kicking Chris' seat the entire time until he ask why Elise had to come. She explains through a childhood memory that she too has something against New Mexico. Apparently her trip there ended with her yelling just like Dan. After he demands Elise tells them the rest, they notice Chris has fallen asleep and force him to wake up and they soon stop by a gas Station. While Elise and Chris head into said station Dan is hit by a small object and claims evenge against Arizona.
Inside the station, Elise and Chris are picking up small snacks for the trip when Elise points out She and Chris talked about him eating healthier. But he claims it doesn't count during a trip. Elise doesn't buy this however and after a bit of arguing they return to a fussy Dan and the trip resumes. Soon as they pass the sign reading, "New Mexico" Elise makes Chris stop and she proceeds to run in the direction pointing to a place called, "Roswell" Dan gets into the front seat and once more the trip resumes. Chris begins to wonder why Elise wanted dropped off at a middle place in the dessert but Dan resorts to poking his friend in random spots.For a moment it shows Elise to be secretly spying on a gated off location. But with Dan and Chris, he mentions being hungry and goes to get the peanut brittle when Chris tells him he ate it. This causes Dan to get angry and he begins to attack Chris, causing the car to zig-zag. The guys are forced to stop when the car runs over a oddly colored bird. To solve the problem, they end up cooking it while sitting by a campfire.
- Despite the fact he seems to obey the seatbelt law (as shown in later episodes) He doesn't seem to be wearing one on their way to New Mexico.
- Dan flips through six pages in his revenge Notebook before getting to the current page.
- As he is poking Chris, part of Dan's arm/sleeve vanishes.
- Apparently Chris has ran over a cyclist.
- A reference to looney tunes is made. After they get out to look at what they hit, Dan says "I think we hit a celebrity." Chris replies, "we hit a road Runner." Dan then says, "What if we hit THE Road Runner." The road runner is a popular character who was always chased by a Coyote who could never catch him.